If he drops this, he'll definitely never find work in this town again.
(Cross-posted to The Daily Squizz.)
With the Major League Baseball season getting underway yesterday, it’s a yearly rite of passage for every writer with even a passing interest in the game to throw out a half-assed, half-baked bunch of theories on how to “fix” baseball — baseball, you see, is much like a sex-obsessed canine, in that everyone whinges about the semen-caked furniture, but no one has the wherewithal to actually lop off the bugger’s balls.
Well, it’s time for some big league castration, ladies and gents. No more worrying about whether “America’s pastime” has lost its lustre or appeal, since after these strategies are implemented, you can pretty much hand over the presidency to Cyborg Bud Selig (it was inevitable anyway).
Drugs for all. As in the case of Tiger Woods’s rampant infidelity, the everyday person probably doesn’t have any inherent moral aversion to steroid use; they’re just a bit peeved at the lack of fairness when someone’s juicing (or taking ‘roids — zing!) and others aren’t. Continue reading
